The power of the compliment and the virtues of benevolence

By | 2018-08-27T17:17:12+00:00 30 July 2018|Benevolence and positive thinking|

From 2006 to 2016, researchers from three Finnish universities tracked thousands of children by looking at their motivations, reading, writing and math skills to try to identify the mechanisms that lead them to have confidence in them and maintain their goals without becoming discouraged.

Early results show that empathy and a warm attitude from teachers would be beneficial in developing students’ skills and results .
Conversely, low emotional support would generate passivity and avoidance.

Developing benevolence in everyday behavior: an idea for tomorrow.

 Nothing gives rise to more productivity and commitment than sincere appreciation. “Hans Poortvielt

“A sincere and personal compliment costs nothing and its impact on the recipient is huge,” says Dutchman Hans Poortvielt, creator of World Compliment Day . Created in 2003, in the Netherlands, with the aim of being “the most positive day in the world”. There is also the World Day of Kindness , the International Day of Cuddlingand even the Courtesy of Driving …

According to Franck Martin, author of the “power of the Gentiles”, these days are a great way to raise awareness even if they seem a little marketing just like Mother’s Day or Valentine’s Day. But, beyond the commercial movement they raise, these festivals mobilize people on primordial values .

The compliment is very well classified in the Maslow pyramid (hierarchical classification of human needs). Among them: the need to be fulfilled, esteem, belonging, security and physiological needs … The compliment gives balm to the heart! It is a very strong act that builds self-confidence and, above all, trust in the relationship with others. Whoever takes the time to compliment you shows that he is interested in you and reinforces the bond of trust between you .

Do not hesitate to offer compliments to loved ones. The compliment can be a gesture or a tender word, it is part of the language of the heart . The child and the adolescent are constructed by the successive mirrors of the people they meet who will send them a positive or negative image. A child raised in thanks, in comfort will be a mature and confident adult future.

The kindness, the true, the authentic, the deep, is seen and lived in time. It is everything, except a weakness that makes us fragile, it is a momentum, a force that will allow your interlocutors to open up to you as much as you open to them. By taking this “risk”, so light, of the meeting and trust a priori.

Management, and if benevolence was the key?

I had the opportunity during my professional life to work with a business leader who could not stand to thank his employees, always behind each one of them to look for the little detail. One day, he told me, “Why compliment them for their work because they are paid for it? “.

This is exactly the counter-example of what to do. Compliment and thank help to focus people on what they do well. When we emphasize their good behavior or good performance, they want to do even better and are even more committed. The compliment strengthens people in what they have best.

Praise management and corporate compliment culture

According to a study conducted by the BVA Institute, 59% of employees complain of a lack of recognition of their superior. In France, compliments often sound wrong. And when we receive, we wonder what it hides, if it is interested … Americans, they have understood the interest of congratulating employees. They even speak of “praise management” , or the art of praising the efforts of an individual .

Obviously, it is not a matter of complimenting a collaborator on his physique but of recognizing the value of his work . A vital need. According to the psychoanalyst Hélène Vecchiali, interviewed by La Nouvelle République: “Freud said that a balanced person works” well “and likes” well “.

Love and work are the two great crutches of the human being. One can help to compensate the other.

For it to be relevant, a compliment must therefore relate to a specific job. An American author who has studied the subject, advises managers to compliment face to face , orally and on the spot , not several days after the success, nor in front of colleagues. The compliment turns out to be an easily distributable and rewardable reward that boosts the ego and therefore the well-being and commitment of employees.

Remember: “The deepest principle of human nature is the compelling need to be appreciated” … (William James).

PS: “You are great! “

Leave A Comment